


A Little Faith

by ZoneRobotnik



Series: Filling the Blanks [7]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Takes place during "Once a Handmaiden", Varian has some trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoneRobotnik/pseuds/ZoneRobotnik
Summary: On the morning of the Goodwill Festival, Varian is filled with some doubts and confides in a friend.
Series: Filling the Blanks [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801066
Comments: 8
Kudos: 77





	A Little Faith

**Author's Note:**

> Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (c) Disney

A month had passed, but he still woke up screaming, his screams of fear cut off by a stabbing pain in his chest. His father tried to comfort him, but they couldn’t speed up the healing. And Rapunzel didn’t have her magical healing power. No salves or potions could make this go any faster, and he endured the pain as well as he endured every wound he got during that lonely time between his father’s encasement and his arrest.  
  
He had hidden the pain from Cassandra, at the time. Pushed through it, kept his voice strong, firm, kept trying to get through to her even as the doubt that he ever would crept in and wrapped around him like amber. He’d kept his movements to a minimum, pleaded with her, begged her to listen, and even when she walked away he stayed rooted where he was in front of the window – and she’d caged him. Sent him out into the open air, with only the cage that looked and felt suspiciously like stone fingers to keep him from plummeting to his death.  
  
He’d never been good with heights. He thought he’s gotten over it when he was with Xavier, but now he knew that it was just because the balloon and Xavier made him feel safe. Even if some part of him recalled riding in a balloon with Andrew, the two of them freshly freed from prison by Andrew’s people. Things had turned out so bad…but, he couldn’t just dismiss the good memories.  
  
Maybe that was why he’d reached out to Cassandra, even after she’d knocked him out, kidnapped him and drugged him. He couldn’t dismiss the good memories, few as they were.   
  
Being trapped in the cage for hours had brought back his fear, and he’d cried himself to sleep between the fear and the sharp pain in his chest that made it hard to breathe. Once out of anyone’s sight, he’d finally let himself react to it, accept it. She’d slammed flat, black rocks into him that dragged him along painfully five feet, then threw him five feet more. Or was it ten? It was too long, either way. Cassandra had crossed the distance with ease, while he was pushing himself up, gritting his teeth against the pain. And he’d still kept trying.  
  
Why did he keep trying?  
  
Ruddiger’s worried chitters brought him back to the present and he wiped at his eyes. “I’m okay, bud.” He said, his voice choked with sobs that he had been suppressing. “I’m okay.”  
  
He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. As soon as they got back, between the rubble hitting him and the brutal beating, he had been diagnosed with broken ribs and…well, other injuries that were mostly scrapes and bruises, they would heal a lot quicker. Broken ribs, though, took one to two months to heal – if you didn’t disobey the doctor and do things like standing in your lab doing alchemy all day. Which he, of course, did.  
  
A week ago, the Captain of the Guard had come in with his men at the tail end of a party Rapunzel had held for boosting morale and announced, with everyone in town there to see, that he was retiring. He’d suggested that Eugene take his place, and he’d reluctantly agreed to it before taking off to find a “Flynn Rider” imposter with Rapunzel, putting Lance in charge – LANCE – to oversee the installation of one of Varian’s new inventions that he’d built to send a warning signal to everyone in Corona that Cassandra had attacked.  
  
But, if course, Lance had ruined everything by not only letting Keira and Cataline paint his invention, but he’d incorrectly installed it, forcing Varian to have to fix it himself!  
  
Maybe, if he’d told Lance about the constant pain he was in, he wouldn’t have messed with him so much. Maybe, if he’d been honest about how badly he’d been hurt, – he’d begged the doctor not to tell _anyone_ – Lance wouldn’t have put in too much Flynnolium and…well, The Rooster blew up. Fireworks flew into the sky while Varian sat beside it, coming to terms with the fact that 1) he’d just been hurt AGAIN and 2) his invention had blown up. It wasn’t supposed to do that. Lance had messed things up. And now, apparently, he’d gone temporarily deaf.  
  
As soon as he was able to hear again, Varian had given him a LONG talking-to, with threats of violence _strongly_ implied as he smacked his wrench against his palm as he stared the troublesome trio down.  
  
Of course, that made his recovery from the kidnapping take even longer, because not only had he been too active for the doctor’s liking, but he’d been severely hurt by the explosion.  
  
The doctor had said that he must have “The Devil’s Luck” to have survived everything he’d endured. Considering he still didn’t know why he’d survived – wasn’t even affected by – the “deadly” decay spell Rapunzel had cast to free his father, he was inclined to believe him but also suspect there might be something more to him.  
  
But, physical wounds were still physical wounds, and now his ribs would take longer to heal, especially since the explosion had impacted his chest first since he was right next to it.  
  
So, he was on month one of…the doctor didn’t even know. He’d told him to stay off his feet, to relax, read books, do _something_ that didn’t stress out his body. But, he’d once again pleaded for his confidentiality and so no one knew of the full extent of pain he was in. And he hid it well.   
  
After that, Eugene had come to him and asked him to make a weapon that could defeat Cassandra’s armor and black rocks. Grimly, Varian knew exactly what would work – amber solution, projected by a cannon. But, a cannon was too big, too bulky, he needed something else. So, he built something. He called it a “bazooka”, one of many different “gun” designs he came up with while trying to decide on how it would work.  
  
Yesterday, his new invention had been completed, confirmed a success and Rapunzel had, reluctantly, approved its use. A last resort thing. Because, Varian had pointed out, even if they didn’t want to hurt _her_ , they had no guarantee she wouldn’t hurt _them_.  
  
That’s what he’d told her. But, he knew for a fact that she would, with no remorse, hurt them. There was no sign of regret in her eyes as she slashed at him, slammed rocks into him, and caged him. She’d hurt him, a _child_ , and didn’t even regret it. Then again, she’d never held restraint about threatening to hurt him _before_. And he got in her way, so he _deserved_ it. He’d “tried something foolish”.  
  
He sighed and pushed himself out of bed with some difficulty, stopping to take a few painful breaths before he pushed himself up. Ruddiger hopped down and chittered at him worriedly and he gave him a reassuring smile.  
  
Maybe it was because he’d been left to his own devices for years, but he didn’t even feel comfortable with his _father_ knowing about how much pain he was in – despite them promising no more secret between them. He changed clothes with some measure of difficulty and then braces himself on the door before taking a deep breath, slowly releasing it, and then shifting into the mask of “being okay” that he’d worn for…well, weeks now.  
  
He opened his bedroom door and stepped out to have breakfast with his father before they both headed out to work – his father to the fields and him to the castle, where he’d been using the same lab he used when working with Andrew ever since…well, the Demanitus Chamber was destroyed now, so he’d had no choice when it came to places to work in Corona  
  
“The Goodwill Festival is today.” His father reminded him. “Are you going to attend?”  
  
“I won’t be able to relax and attend _any_ kind of festival until Cassandra is no longer a concern. Besides, I’ll be on patrol with Eugene.” He finished breakfast and took them to the sink to wash them before he headed out, Ruddiger by his side as always. “See you later, dad.”  
  
He dropped by the lab and picked up Project Obsidian before starting the long trek to the Capital. He’d once considered asking to borrow the horse until he was better, but that meant telling people there was a “better” to get to. And he still couldn’t let people know he’d been seriously hurt, the trauma of being abandoned the moment he was an inconvenience asking for them to take _any_ kind of action to assist him still wrapped around his heart cold as the blizzard he’d been thrown out into that night.  
  
He had to wonder, if it hadn’t been Cassandra, would they have rescued him? Did they actually want to _save him_ , or—no. ‘NO! No more of these thoughts, Varian Ruddiger! You KNOW they care about you! You KNOW that they’ve made up for back then, why are you doubting them?! Why are you so…’  
  
Afraid?  
  
He carefully draped the harness for the bazooka around his torso and headed out, Ruddiger following behind him closely as always. “Maybe I’ll ask them for a horse this time, huh?” He said quietly to his friend as he made his way through the woods.  
  
The worst part of going through the woods, aside from the distance, was passing by that tower. He glanced up at it as he passed, the once-hidden grotto now exposed for all to see by the presence of a tower that was clearly just a manifestation of Cassandra compensating for her mother issues, and whatever _else_ she had going on inside her head that made her… _talk_ to herself.  
  
Speaking of talking to herself, he saw one of Rapunzel’s handmaidens, Faith, talking to herself as she picked flowers. Sighing sympathetically, he walked over and knelt next to her. “Old Lady Crowley yell at you again?”  
  
She started, looking at him. “Uh, Varian?”  
  
“Yeah, pretty sure I’m me.” He looked at himself and laughed a bit, but it hurt so that didn’t last long. He brought a hand to his chest and adjusted the strap of the bazooka on his back to give himself an excuse for having his hand there. “What do you need?”  
  
“Uh, flowers.” She sighed. “Why is she so mean to me?”  
  
“She’s mean to everyone. She keeps threatening to cook Ruddiger in a stew.” Varian made a face.  
  
Faith laughed a bit. “She does?”  
  
He nodded. “Yeah.” She reached down and started to help her pick flowers.  
  
He liked Faith. Not in a “like like” way, but he liked spending time with her. She was always making mistakes, always being scolded for those mistakes, never really seemed to get anything right. He could relate to that, that’d pretty much been his life growing up. She wanted so much to be seen as…competent.  
  
“Well, you know what they say. Practice makes perfect.” He put the flowers in her basket. “You’ll get it soon enough.” He braced himself on his knee as he pushed himself to his feet.  
  
She stood up, picking up the basket as she did, and her brow furrowed. “…Are you okay?”  
  
“I’m fine.” He assured her.  
  
She raised an eyebrow. “Varian…”  
  
He sighed. “It’s just…” He nodded to the tower looming over them, casting shadow on him. “It’s been hard. My kidnapping…”  
  
“I heard about that.” She nodded. “What happened up there? It’s been pretty need-to-know, even the maids don’t know.”  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He adjusted his strap again. “Want to walk back to the castle together?”  
  
She nodded. “Okay.”   
  
They started off through the woods together. He glanced up as an owl flew overhead and then sighed, thinking of Cassandra. Actually, that was Cassandra’s Owl, wasn’t it? He’d started staying around the castle after coming back to tell Rapunzel about the Captain being in danger from some kind of bizarre magic – at least, that’s what he’d been told, when he’d asked Eugene about him. That had happened shortly before his…before Cassandra came into the Demanitus Chamber and took him to the tower that still loomed over them, blocking out the sun, an ever-constant reminder of just how powerless he’d been that day.  
  
 _Powerless_.   
  
Not anymore.  
  
If he really _wanted_ to, if he felt _cruel enough_ , he could fire this weapon at the tower and watch the black rocks be completely consumed by the amber, with Cassandra trapped inside it, forever. It’d be a cruel act, a monstrous act, to turn her safe haven into her prison. The amber would stand forever, a testament to _not mess with him_.  
  
But, he wasn’t that monster anymore. A year ago, he would have done it. A year ago, he would have been cruel and bitter enough to do such a thing. But, he wasn’t that person anymore. He wasn’t that fourteen year old building automatons and kidnapping queens any longer.  
  
He was better than that, better than _her_ , he’d been through the darkness and come back out to the light. She _chose_ to stay in the darkness, and that was _just…fine_. But, he wouldn’t let her drag him back in with her. So, the tower stayed untouched by the amber loaded into his weapon, and he passed out of the shadow cast by it to continue on to Corona.  
  
“Are you okay?” Faith asked. “You’re making a scary face.”  
  
He blinked in surprise and looked at her. He’d almost forgotten she was there with him. “Ah, sorry.” He moved a hand up to rub the back of his head awkwardly, but the sudden action shot pain through his body and he cried out, dropping to his knees with his hands on his chest.  
  
“I knew it, you’re _not_ okay!” She knelt next to him. “Where does it hurt?!”  
  
Where? Uh, how about _everywhere_?  
  
“I’m fine.” He assured her through wheezing breaths. Okay, _not_ at all convincing, Varian. “I’m…” He took a deep breath and slowly released it. “I’m fine.”  
  
She looked _thoroughly_ unconvinced. “Varian, have you been to see a doctor?”  
  
“I have. A month ago.” He put up one knee and used it to brace himself into standing again, one hand on his chest. “I’m fine.”  
  
“Clearly, you’re not.” She took his hand in hers. “Varian, you need to get proper treatment!”  
  
“Not much can be done about broken ribs besides wrapping them up and giving them time to heal.” He said bitterly.  
  
She stopped short. “Broken…?”  
  
“Yeah.” He inhaled and then slowly exhaled. “The doctor gave me two months to recover, but that was before The Rooster blew up. Now…who knows?” He laughed bitterly. “But, I’m not going to let Cassandra’s” his expression went dark, cold, hateful, “attack drag me down and make me an _inconvenience_.”  
  
She looked at a loss. “Varian...you’re _not_ an inconvenience.”  
  
“No, I’m not. Because I’ve kept working.” He walked on and she walked alongside him.  
  
“ _Why_ are you so worried about _being_ one?” She asked, her brow furrowed.  
  
“…Right. You and I didn’t know each other until after the, uh, Saporian takeover was stopped.” He stopped and turned to her. “Faith…can you keep this between us?”  
  
“O-Of course.” She nodded.  
  
He nodded. “You know that I…uh…was in prison for a year, right?”  
  
“I heard about it.” She nodded again. “You, uh, kidnapped the queen, right?”  
  
“Among other things. Well…” He turned towards Corona. “A few months before I did that, I was…I was in a desperate situation. Up until then, I’d never asked for anything, never been an inconvenience. But, the moment I came to them for help instead of being the one to eagerly lend a hand…they turned on me. Threw me out into the snow, claimed I attacked their princess. So, I told myself to never be an inconvenience to Corona again. As long as I’m of _use_ …” He clenched his fists, closing his eyes.  
  
“Varian…that’s _terrible_ …” Faith said, looking distressed. “You shouldn’t have to feel this way, you’re not…you’re not just some _tool_ for people to use!”  
  
“Tell that to Cassandra!” He snapped, opening his eyes again. “She kidnapped me, forced me to take a truth serum, made me give her an incantation I’d translated for Rapunzel, then used me as a hostage! She let the _horse_ go, she could have let ME go once she got what she wanted! If she hadn’t taken me up there…” He brought a hand to his chest. “I stupidly thought I could reach her, Faith. I tried to talk her out of it because I’d been down that path myself. I thought, if _anyone_ could save her, it was _me_ …”  
  
He clenched his fist against his sore chest, his breath shuddering a bit. “The moment I was an _inconvenience_ to her, she beat me and sent me outside in a cage, high above ground. No way out and, even if I found one, I’d fall to my death. Being an inconvenience is…” He glanced at her. “Well, you don’t have it as bad as I do, thankfully. Then again, you’re not…you’re not a troublemaker like me.”  
  
“You’re not a troublemaker.” She took his hand again. “And…I think that, even if she hurt you, you might’ve reached her.”  
  
“You think so?” He raised an eyebrow, pulling his hand free carefully.  
  
“Well, I _believe_ that you did. After all, if she was _that_ far gone, why hasn’t she attacked Corona yet? What’s stopping her? She has the rocks, right?”  
  
He nodded, his brow furrowing. “I don’t know all the details. Something about an eclipse.” He started to walk on. “They…don’t really tell me everything about what’s going on. I mean, maybe if they _had_ , I would’ve been more guarded and less…less easy to take away.” He wrapped his arms around himself. “I feel like I’m just being yanked around by one side or another. I know it’s wrong, I know it’s not true, I’m not a _tool_ , I’m not just something to _use_ , I’m a _person_!” He stopped and hung his head, his body trembling.  
  
“Varian…” She moved closer to him.  
  
“Why is it always like this?” He whispered. “I thought things were _better_ , but it looks like I’m just in the same place as before. Doing their chores for them for a pat on the back. I mean, _Rapunzel_ has been doing better, but…”  
  
Ruddiger pawed at his leg soothingly, knowing he couldn’t climb on his shoulders right now.  
  
He wiped at his eyes with his glove. “I’m…I’m fine.”  
  
“You sure?” She asked.  
  
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Let’s head on before our, uh, bosses get worried.” He headed across the bridge, Faith and Ruddiger following behind.  
  
“Varian, there you are!” Eugene ran up to him. “Come on, Fidella’s all saddled up for you. You remember how to ride, right?”  
  
“Eugene, _I_ _grew up on a farm_.” He reminded him, rolling his eyes.  
  
Eugene laughed. “Come on.”  
  
Varian looked at Faith and smiled a bit. “I hope you’re right.”  
  
“Huh?” She blinked.  
  
“About Cassandra. I hope you’re right about why she hasn’t attacked Corona.” He turned and walked off with Eugene.  
  
Yes, he hated the woman. But, he didn’t want to encase anyone like that, if there was a sign, a _chance_ that she’d actually _listened_ to him.  
  
How fitting that it was Faith to convince him to have a little faith in the good in Cassandra. Yes, he was still in pain, but he could learn to forgive if there was a chance that she’d really listened to him and wasn’t beyond redemption.  
  
End

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, you can bet finding out that wasn't really Faith really went over well for him after narrowly escaping death at her hands again.


End file.
